#idk weird bad gender feels
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
don't think i enjoy calling myself a witch very much. what if i called myself a sorcerer
1 note
·
View note
Text
i think the one thing that makes me feel the most autistic forever is Fashion. it's difficult to describe how, because i think i have a decent grasp on Character Design - like i have a sense for what *i* think looks cool!! and i'm sure i'm swayed by trends just as much as anyone, like i have a distinct memory of suddenly being Really Into Purple as a teen, and i thought it was just a thing i had discovered by myself but it was actually a year when purple was a really trendy color and they were selling cute purple clothes everywhere. i can rummage through my old clothes and recognise that wow, these pieces are heavily reminiscent of the early 2010s. sure!!!!
but when people talk about Fashion it's greek to me. 95% of the time i am presented with a picture of allegedly Bad Fashion i cannot understand what's wrong. we make fun of the way people dressed ten years ago but if ten years ago could aee how we dress today they'd be laughing at us?? and it's really so anxiety inducing to consider i might have zero self awareness about whether i dress ok or like a clown in other people's eyes, so i have no choice but to own it. my understanding of Dressing Good is finding pieces that are comfortable on your body and look flattering to you, whatever that might mean.
idk i just feel like an alien that can't understand earth language but i'm doing my very best to pick up on words as i go along
#PERSONALLY. i have no need to be fashionable#but. i need to be a professional adult man. and i'm frantically trying to find out how i dress the part#genuinely the thing i miss the most about being a Weird Girl in the 2010s was that i would put together absolutely bonkers experimental fits#without the stress of being perceived as the wrong gender...#sometimes i hear about a men's wear expert guy on twitter who dunks on shitty people for wearing the wrong color shoes#and i try to read his tweets to understand men's fashion a litle better......#except they make me understand Even Less#idk why i am suddenly so incensed by all this but i needed to write it out#me not understanding a bad outfit is the same as me not understanding a bad actor in movies#like a real person is dreasing/acting that way so it feels real and legit to me
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
UMETAROU NOGUCHI - Demon Slayer [full colour]
more art || character page || commissions
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @bbrocklesnar @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @nokstella @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel
#my art*#oc: umetarou noguchi#artists on tumblr#demon slayer#ds oc#kny oc#kny#demon slayer oc#my ocs#original character#character design#digital art#just a depressed girl trying to make herself feel better#I hate waking up on the verge of a panic attack every morning#if this one thing got resolved I would be okay#I think#but honestly im expecting another bad thing to come from all this#so I’ll probably get worse#so while I feel the strength to do so#enjoy some art#here is baby boy#the gender fluid icon that they are#I only have 8 more ocs to render which is insane#they’ll be done soon#hopefully… maybe…#I might update Hideko too tbf#love her general pose but her arms being up feels weird to me#might have her holding the mask at her front?#idk#anyway enjoy I’m gonna go cry some more
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
gotta be honest it’s REAL WEIRD to me how yall keep talking about how 14’s gender Gets It Wrong compared to 13 and how her gender is the Real genderfluid experience. Your experiences are not universal people can and do experience a wide range of strong internal senses of gender throughout their lives. Hello. Why are you all acting like 14 being A Man and also genderfluid is impossible. What the fuck are you guys talking about
#not maintagging this#I do strongly identify with the way 13 experiences gender#but idk. this doesn’t feel out of character or inconsistent. different doctors experience gender to different degrees#more than that it’s just weird to me how it’s suddenly Bad Representation to show a genderfluid person who identifies with a binary gender#you’re allowed to do that. I do that. what
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom
#.txt#i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak#and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient#acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress#was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw fanart yesterday that i was ehh on
but it brought me to the conclusion that, if shrek was a lesbian, if shrek was a woman, i think she would be exactly the same as canon movie shrek, actually, and in fact. to the point, she would be so indistinguishable, that i can no longer be convinced that canon movie shrek isnt a he/him lesbian, and im excited to rewatch all the movies through the lens of percieving shrek this way. i think it will be based. excited.
#toy txt post#okay i think this post is sufficiently distanced from dunking on the fanart so i dont have to banish it to the drafts#have you no love in your heart for bald lesbian shrek?#smh turning him into a lesbian should not be that scene in shrek the third where they pluck his brows and put him in a wig#disclainer the fanartist is in their rights to draw whatever they want to draw yadda yadda i know#i simply think the fanartist is wrong ♡ also weird to choose to draw a scene with human fiona. instead of ogre fiona#idk i think i was approaching in slightly worse faith last night when i first saw it and im feeling more forgiving now.#maybe theyve drawn other scenes with ogre fiona and thats just the one that made it on my dash. idk#i did scroll through the shrek the third tag specifically looking for the scene where they dress him and fiona up#and saw the far more unforgivable sin of an edit of shrek with defined abs. far more haunting. no shrek of any gender would ever have abs#fuck i dont even think the human version of shrek that was specifically supposed to he conventionally attractive had fucking abs#i was also being unfair last night in the group chat scoffing at this persons taste in human fiona like why would you not draw like#the badass warrior fiona she was so cool. but thats unfair of me. ppl find beauty everywhere#but also really no ogre fiona? when like a big theme throughout the series is accepting her ogreself as she is and that shes still#beautiful like that?#....im gonna try to find that fanartist and block them so they dont see this post tho i dont want them to feel bad vdjsjdvjsgigdgri#which is why im making a post on my own blog the next day and not interacting with their post
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m. so confused
#not necessary to read i’m just sending words into the void bc these past few months have been so stressful and then my brain is like#do you know what we should do right now? we should develop a crush and spiral over NOTHINGGGG#normally i shake crushes off in a week’s time maybe a lil longer if we’re talking a lot#but Man.jpeg i’m down bad for a friend of mine and the weirdest thing is: it’s a girl#i’ve always had thoughts about gender and how i didn’t feel like a girl but more like girl lite but this is totally new to me#literally get nervous and can’t make eye contact with her for more than a second at a time. my stomach feels weird when she giggles#planning a hangout feels so high stakes bc i wanna make sure she has fun#we chat every day and make consistent plans and i’m literally rethinking everything i thought i ‘knew’ about my relationship preferences#i kinda wanna hold hands with her and see where this goes but i’m so scared of leading her on if it’s just my brain goin crazy#idk man#jo tag
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rlly sad and disappointing when an artist you like starts posting shit abt how 4th dimensional their OCs genders are and then makes a positivity post for trans ppl who dont transition and cis ppl who do 😭😭
#like. idk im just kinda losing patience with people acting like having contradictory labels is#inherently more radical than just transitioning 😭😭😭😭 like it feels like a slap in the face#a direct admission that you dont really look into or take in the experiences of the people youre trying to portray#like idk. its just a weird privilege to like throw these labels around for fun when it feels like you dont ever just talk#to/about trans women it just feels bad. like#idk i rlly have started to hate the label of ‘binary trans women’ bc i feel like whenever someone uses it#they use it to imply you’re basically cis. that you chose to conform to ‘woman’ as your gender and thats easy#and it just shows a complete lack of solidarity or understanding with transfemmes idk
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
does anyone else have a weird fashion mismatch between what they think they like and what they actually like wearing?? half my style icons wear, like, waistcoats and wool trousers, but i'm usually at my most comfortable dressed like a bug type pokemon trainer. or a camp counselor.
#personal#it's weird and complicated and i frequently feel bad because i don't like how im dressed#like not because im Trying to wear stuff even though it feels wrong. more like i can't figure out what would feel right#kind of in a dysphoria way but idk if it's truly dysphoria#i think i still have Some Gender Weirdness going on thats a little more complicated than being a truly binary trans dude but like#it's hard to separate that out from internalized bullshit about gender roles#some of this also might be because of complications finding clothes that fit right + sensory issues + practicality issues#+ trying to minimize dysphoria about specific parts of my body#worst fashion advice ever is Just Be Yourself. who is myself??#don't really know but this ain't it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
bald guy at work asked me what he should do with his food because "women are usually smarter than men with food related things" ???
#ive never felt so uh.. gendered? as i do at my workplace everyones so weird about women here#sorry idk what other term to use#i feel like everywhere else im just some person#but here im Woman who knows about Food and such#and im not saying this because of this one interaction cuz its not the first time ive heard similar things here#either directed at me or heard in passing#same bald guy said 'girl power' to me when it was just me and another female coworker in the morning shift#like ok man im literally just working here idk what to say to that.#i never remember his name so hes bald guy to me i dont mean anything bad by it (and i dont call him that at work)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmm.
#vent in tags#turns out my only friend is actually really ableist and queerphobic#like i guess i should have realised that when she called me a slur#but i just excused it#like i excused her being really mean to me#like theres a line between playful joking and trying to insult the other person#and she made a joke abt me being autistic (bad joke to make) so i told her i actually was autistic and she was weird around me the rest of#the day but then near the end she started beingreally rude to me#including saying something like “i have too small of a mental capasity to be a good friend” or something#and like#shes never said anything like this until i told her i was autistic#plus she has always been weird abt me not using excact labels and just referring to my gender and sexuality in general terms#and she was really really weird abt me being trans#and she was so weird when she found out abt my sh#and i actually hate being around her#she makes me feel so bad abt myself wtff#i put up with it bcs i have no other friends#we're not a good friendship bcs she wants so much more from me than i can give and she refuses to give anything back#idk what to do abt it bcs there is. no way ill be able to just stop talking to her#shes really good at forcing me to spend time with her#idk shes actually really manipulative
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yk, I for some reason get gender dysphoria when I like a fictional dude.
Like just makes me feel like "Wtf man you straight woman or something?" Which is weird bc I honestly like the idea of dating a dude for the most part :P
#lol#♣️.txt#like by dating i am ace so uh#idk why i feel bad saying the word dating bc I'm demiromantic aswell#today is just a weird ass day for my gender and life#huh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmmmb private rites. what did everyone think
#guys was it bad i think it was kinda bad :(#i loved our wives & her short story collection but this just didn't connect with me idk what it was#it felt sort of fanfic-y in writing style which sounds mean lol but it really read like someone trying to imitate her writing style based#off of her first two bookswhich is crazy because it is literally by her lol. the characters felt a little tropey especially jude & like#maybe not my place to be discussing nb representation my own weird gender feelings aside but they felt like such an undeveloped paper doll#of a character. soo weird like they were only relevant to reflect the protagonists and i thought maybe that was because the perspective is#from the main three sisters but even when we got jude's perspective they didn't feel like a real fleshed out person. idk idk. and the endin#i was warned the book falls off towards the end but i hadnt been enjoying it all the way through so by the end i was like. yeah that tracks#i'm bummed about it lol idk maybe i'm being too harsh ive seen a lot of positive feedback
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#hey why can you forgive a male character's actions towards another male character for the purposes of shipping#but can't fathom doing the same for the same male character's actions towards a female character?#are same gender ships inherently less problematic to you?#i would say - at worst - that the actions are equally bad#and they were bad. this is fiction etc.#the actions towards the female character were one off. possibly to save face. she wasn't in physical danger. she is revealed to not feel#emotionally threatened by it#(this is different to a real life scenario where 1. we can't see that 2. there's a possibility for danger)#we also can't see if that pattern of behaviour could be continued#this is introduced as the first time it happens. it begins respectfully. and it doesn't happen again.#contrast this to the behaviour with the male character#this has been happening for years and is clearly a display of power. the male victim is consistently physically socially and emotionally#hurt and tormented#and he does not suggest forgiveness for him or any positive feelings about this#so. therefore. i would say the m/m one is more toxic than the m/f one#this isn't to say you're toxic if you ship the m/m one. no do what you want#my main issue with that one is the misogyny and mischaracterisation that sometimes appears#but like. why can you forgive the pattern and not the isolated incident#why does it feel somewhat connected to the b word?#idk. maybe it's not. maybe you're bi too. slay. but it feels weird to me.#yes i'm overreacting about petty fandom drama. and yet
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vent post lol
Fighting for my life out here
(Afraid everyone who loves me will not care about me anymore once I transition, I’ll go from relatively pretty girl to ugly freak, I have no idea how to be future me)
#happy pride ig#vent post#also like I think freaks are hot💔 but it’s so hard to find other like actual genuine weird people irl#yall only live on timblr apparently#so glad the whole ‘I was never good at being a (gender assigned at birth)’ ‘I always knew from a young age’ narrative helps people but like#I’ve successfully lived as a girl for so long I don’t even know how to go about changing#I want to so bad I feel like I’m in drag but it’s so exhausting to live that way#Im so tired of doing it#but I have so much longer till I can start hrt#I feel so dysphoric about the way I talk/walk/am in general#like how do you even go about changing your mannerisms#like I know there’s no right way to be a man but also like the specific man I emulate is definitely not me#at least not right now#idk how much of that is like normal and fine or if I’m just weird lol#I’ve never really seen anyone talk about that part of being trans before so idk if I’m like super out of left field with this one
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
uterus has been yeeterused
#so i had a hysterectomy about two weeks ago and it's insane how much better i feel not only physically but mentally#i havent felt this in tune with my body since i was a kid#i finally feel like im on the path to how i want my body to be like and i never understood just how much i was affected by#both gender dysphoria and physical disease (endometriosis) until i got almost everything removed in there#im solidly sure im nonbinary now instead of having conflicting feelings about it#i feel much better about expressing my strange femininity and being perceived as feminine#i feel more spiritual too?? idk how to describe it#im just confused a little about why this had such a big impact on me since yeah it did give me dysphoria to a degree but i didnt think it#was THAT bad#i feel more in tune with my child self; like i feel like a grown up version of my 9 year old self and more confident#my mind is much calmer and i just feel so present and one with my body. i finally feel like i could meditate comfortably withouf wanting to#escape my mind or body?? idk idk it's so so weird#anyway im also in much less pain despite not being able to do much of anything and still healing from surgery#and i know that having this done isnt a cure but god i hope i get lucky and that the endo doesnt come back anyway#it's amazing to be able to love my body instead of being mad at it because it causes me pain and does things that i dont want it to#idk if that's a fully healthy mindset or not but that#that's what's been going on in my life so far
11 notes
·
View notes